Let’s imagine that messengers are a kind of virtual cafe where we meet friends, colleagues, relatives, and sometimes even those we see for the first time. In this cafe, as in the real one, there are certain rules of good manners that help to avoid awkward moments and ensure pleasant communication.
First impression
Remember the moment when you first meet someone in real life? A smile, a handshake, a soft voice — all of this forms a first impression. Messengers also have their own “handshake” — a greeting. Don’t ignore this moment. “Hi, this is Maria, Pavel gave me your contact” is much better than a dry “Hello”.
Time frame
We are all different. Some are alert in the morning, while others come alive closer to night. So sending messages at 3am asking “Are you awake?” is not a good idea, unless you are in the same time zone as night owls. And vice versa, don’t be surprised if your “morning greeting” remains unanswered until lunchtime, because the recipient may be a night owl.
Sometimes it seems like you need an answer right away, but don’t forget that your interlocutor may also be busy. So if the answer doesn’t come as quickly as you’d like, don’t be offended. Perhaps your friend is completely immersed in solving world problems or simply forgot their phone in another room.
And, of course, don’t leave messages unanswered. If you see a message but can’t answer right away, it’s better to let them know: “I’m busy now, I’ll write later.” It’s better than silence.
The privacy boundaries of strangers work not only in real life, but also in messengers. If you are not sure that the person needs to read your message right now, it is better not to disturb anyone after 9 p.m. and until the morning.
Work correspondence is also under a special classification. Think twice before bothering a colleague with a message before 9 am and after 7 pm, this time is like an invisible border, beyond which everyone has their own habits and rituals and you should not break into them, even with the craziest ideas and thoughts. Of course, unless you have agreed on a specific time for the chat in advance or a catastrophe of universal proportions has really occurred and you urgently need to get an answer.
Emoji etiquette
Emojis are the charm of instant messaging. Using them can make it easier to understand the tone or intent of a message, reduce the likelihood of misinterpretation, and make the conversation more lively and emotional.
And in the world of little yellow emoticons and symbols, there are unspoken rules that will help avoid misunderstandings and make communication more enjoyable.
Sending a line of dancing ladies in red dresses to your boss may be cute, but is it appropriate in a formal email?
Emojis need to be used selectively, especially when it comes to work chats or messaging people you don’t know very well.
The number of emotions that can be expressed with emoji is limitless, but that doesn’t mean your message should turn into a modern art exhibit where everyone has to decipher your writing. Use emoji to enhance your words, but don’t let them cloud your message.
When a “mini-podcast” is not the right time
Voice messages are convenient, but not always appropriate. Imagine the situation: you are at a meeting, your phone vibrates, and then a friend or friend starts a five-minute monologue about how the cat knocked over a flowerpot. The importance of the message at this moment is off the charts! So before you press the record button, first think carefully about whether it is convenient for the interlocutor to listen to your “mini-podcast”, and then write and ask: “Is it convenient to listen to the audio?”
Group Chat: How to Avoid Chaos
Group chats are a miniature society. There are leaders, readers, and those who constantly change the topic of conversation. Remember that a group chat is not a place for personal conversations with one participant. And if you don’t like something, it’s better to write about it in private messages, rather than organize an “open mic”.
A point as a sentence
In the youth culture of social networks and instant messengers, an unspoken rule has now emerged according to which a period at the end of a short message or in a one-phrase text can be perceived as an expression of aggression, harshness, or the end of a dialogue.
A period at the end of a message can turn an innocent “Okay” into a sentence “Okay,” which sounds like you’re about to close the digital café door and walk away.
Of course, don’t be surprised if a person sends you messages without emoticons or periods; perhaps this is just their communication style or the other person is maintaining a businesslike tone of conversation.
Small courtesies
In the virtual world, we sometimes encounter mysterious “Hellos” that hang a pause and then keep us in suspense. Like in a quiz: guess what I meant, and then you will get a prize – you will know the essence of my message! But isn’t it better to immediately share your thoughts, without making anyone guess on the tea leaves?
Combining a bunch of your messages into one is always a good idea and respect for the interlocutor. A person will not have to be distracted every second by every “blym-blym” in messengers and get nervous that he cannot concentrate on other daily tasks.
Don’t know how to turn your message into an epic drama or a restless quest for answers?! We know how to help you! Excessive use of exclamation (!!!!) or question marks (????) – then you will very soon be considered a screamer. It’s like yelling at the entire Internet “Who is the smartest here???? Answer immediately!!!” Perhaps a little restraint would not hurt.
CapsLock was once simply used to highlight important headings or emphasize important points. Nowadays, its use is considered a form of shouting in real life.
When an entire message screams in capital letters, it can make the recipient feel uncomfortable or even offended, regardless of the sender’s intentions.
Therefore, if you want to maintain harmony in communication, it is important to use CapsLock carefully and in moderation, taking into account the context and relationship with the interlocutor.
The Art of an Elegant Farewell
Ending a conversation in a messenger is not just a formality, but another way to leave a pleasant impression after communication.
If the conversation was light and casual, you can end it with humor, for example, “Well, I’m off to save the world.”
In cases where the conversation touched on serious topics or work issues, it is better to choose a more formal farewell, for example: “Thank you for the productive conversation. I look forward to further cooperation!”
Don’t forget about tact. Even if you urgently need to end the conversation, it is always better to give the interlocutor feedback. A simple “Sorry, I have to go, but let’s continue later” can be a sign of politeness and respect for the other person’s time.
